Paul Johns

Since I was born, I’ve never walked out of a movie, and I still haven’t, but watching “The Invisible” last night, Amanda and I were very, very tempted to.

The Invisible is the story of boy meets girl, girl murders boy, boy isn’t really dead, and boy’s immortal soul tries to get the girl to save him before he crosses over to the other side. Doesn’t sound that great, but believe me it could have somehow been less terrible than it was.

My biggest complaint is that everyone in the movie is extremely emo. Every line that is uttered is over-the-top serious, and pretentiously deep. There are even a few Christ-like poses thrown in by the main character for good measure. Just in case you didn’t realize how deep everything was. It was like an outsider’s view of how Goth kids should act. I’m sure, however, that most Goth kids would think this movie is craptacular. It just takes itself too damn seriously.

To add to that, there are elements of human behaviour that just don’t make sense. The would be killer, for example, breaks in to the victim’s house, while the police are looking for her so that she can rummage through some old photos and relive old memories. Yes, I’m serious. Then, after they already set up the fact that the main character’s spirit cannot interact with physical matter, there’s a scene where his spirit pulls his own body out of some possibly deadly (for real this time) rising water.

I’ve seen movies that are straight to DVD that are way more entertaining and professionally made than this load. Please do not go see this movie, wait until it comes out on broadcast television, don’t even watch it on cable, because it means that you will have put your money toward it.